In a successful negotiation, both parties walk away feeling as if they gained more than they gave.

"You have to know what's important to you before the negotiating even begins," says Justin Besikof, partner-in-charge of mergers and acquisitions and corporate finance at the accounting firm of Lurie, Besikof, Lapidus in Minneapolis, Minn.

"You have to know where you're willing to bend and still feel as if you've gotten what you needed," he adds.

Negotiation, whether it's purchasing a business, hiring an employee or approving a labor contract, is not about one party winning and one party losing. For example, in a business acquisition, Besikof says that you want the buyer to feel as if he or she overpaid just a bit and the seller to feel as if they didn't quite get exactly what they wanted.

Effective negotiating also involves the ability to assess the personalities of those with whom you are negotiating. "Should you be listening more? Should you take the lead? You need to adjust your tone and demeanor if the other person is strong willed," says Besikof.

There are some people who get a high from the negotiation process. "They may expect you to be as tough as them and, in some cases, if you are not as tough and forceful, they will see that and will clobber you."

There's a process to negotiating and Besikof explains the steps when dealing with the sale or purchase of a business.

• Understand the business
• Understand the valuation range of the business
• Craft a professional presentation explaining both the business and the opportunity
• Identify a group of financially qualified buyers within the industry or in the financial world
• Have an initial meeting at which parties sign a non-disclosure form
• Negotiate with multiple parties in an attempt to solicit multiple offers
• Choose a buyer who offers a fair deal, has an interest in the business and who can complete the deal (financing, management, etc.)

"A lot of mergers and acquisitions don't work," says Besikof.

"Transition can be difficult. There's the question of how active the former owner will be and how well the cultures will merge. How does the new management run the business, treat employees and treat customers," he asks.

Following a process and understanding what you hope to gain from the negotiation will help to smooth that transition.  e